TESTIMONY: WHAT’S IT GOING TO COST? 5/07/07
Wayne was listening to Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj on the
webcast today and shared a story. Sadhu is a prophet
from India and walks closely with Jesus and has seen
Jesus many times. Sadhu walks in miracles. Sadhu has a
friend who is also a prophet in India and that friend
prays 7 hours a day and sees Jesus every day. Ministry
leaders asked his friend why he got to see Jesus every
day when they loved Him too and wanted to see Him. The
man told them it was because he prayed 7 hours a day and
suggested they pray too.
They were very sad because they had to work, minister
and also take care of their families. So when the
people left, the prophet went to prayer as usual. He
saw Jesus immediately walk up to him and Jesus said, “I
heard what you told them.” Jesus proceeded to tell him
that it was only because of Jesus’ grace that he saw Him
and there was nothing he could ever do to earn it. So
the prophet deeply repented before the Lord and went
back and told the leaders what Jesus had said.
This caused me to think about our callings and the
cost. It costs us everything to follow Jesus, it costs
us our entire lives. He rewards us for our pursuit, but
still His gifts are free and not payment for our deeds.
He promotes us when we are faithful with what we are
given, but even our faithfulness is not our payment.
When it comes to actually walking out what He has
called, it is only by His grace. Everything we have to
walk it, comes from His supply and not our own.
It costs us our life to love and follow Him, but the
equipping to follow it is all from His grace, which is
His unmerited, undeserved favor. He does not waste one
moment of our lives. Everything in our life is divine
preparation and equipping to fulfill our callings in
I have shed many tears and groanings for many years over
one thing. As a prophetic person, He has given me
foresight and passion for what is coming. But try as I
might, I cant jump to heaven. After so many years of
striving and jumping and reading of others who have had
these awesome experiences, I finally died and yielded
the timing to Him. Yes we pursue Him; there is a divine
tension between His drawing upon our hearts and our
pursuing Him. However, no amount of effort is going to
win us a trip to where we want to go. The ticket is
either bought or it isnt.
There are certain ministries that I truly love to sit at
their feet and hear Jesus through them... but many times
I am overwhelmed with the feeling that I have lost it,
am not cutting it and not measuring up because they are
pressing in and I am still back at point A. It happens
at every level of maturity. We see what is available
and then we become discontent until we obtain it. It is
part of growing up in Him and part of His drawing us
into passion. But in the process, all the wrong motives
take a crash and burn while our spirit man races forward
God knows exactly what it takes to keep our candles
lit. He knows what it takes to keep us from falling.
He knows what it takes to keep us growing. We can’t
walk in another man’s shoes. We all know that, but none
of us seem to accept that because we still feel we have
failed. The only lesson to learn is that to follow
Jesus costs us everything, it costs us our lives. It is
a divine exchange of our lives for His.
There is an eternal mystery called the seed, in which
God brings forth Himself in all that He daily creates.
Within that mystery is the death of a seed required to
bring a harvest. When we die to self and exchange what
we want for what He wants, it brings a multiplied
harvest of even more grace. Our death did cost us
something and usually something very valuable, else it
would not be death. He grants us the grace to yield the
seed and plant it and then His grace multiplies it far
beyond what we even thought of asking.
I went through a season of death where I became
despairing of life and living. There were years of
culminating factors that came to a head at one time.
One of them was the completion of several assignments
and the realization that I thought I had walked out all
of my promises. Without a vision the people perish and
I began to seek Him for the next horizon; not for
people, but for my own life. I came to a complete halt
until I heard one quickened sentence spoken from a
podium: “What you do today affects all your tomorrows.
What you do today, affects 3-4 generations beyond you.”
I knew that to be true, and the truth is that it
actually affects all of humanity beyond you, and for all
eternity. No kidding. They (the cloud of witnesses)
can not be made perfect without us. (Heb 11:40) The
Lord took me away from that sermon and like a light
piercing the darkness, came the following: “When you
die, you plant your last and final seed for harvest.
Every day you live, is your chance to plant seed. Do
you really want to die when you already know My power to
give you seed and My grace to pour it out so liberally?
Do you really want to give that up?”
I made my decision that I am now on a grace extension
plan. Every day I live, I am being given another chance
to plant more seed. What’s it going to cost me? I dont
know, I am on His extended GRACE plan. His grace is
made perfect in my weakness. What an amazing exchange.
Maybe I did die, because all I see is grace, Amazing
John 3:30-31 NKJV
He must increase, but I must decrease.
John 12:24-26 NKJV
Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat
falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if
it dies, it produces much grain . 25 He who loves his
life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this
world will keep it for eternal life. 26 If anyone
serves Me, let him follow Me;
Col 1:27 NKJV
Christ in you, the hope of glory.
2 Cor 12:9 NKJV
"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is
made perfect in weakness."
Rom 12:6 NKJV
Having then gifts differing according to the grace
that is given to us, let us use them.
Eph 2:8-10 NKJV
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and
that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of
works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His
workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in
Eph 4:7 NKJV
But to each one of us grace was given according to
the measure of Christ's gift .
1 Peter 4:10 NKJV
As each one has received a gift , minister it to one
another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.