Sandy Warner ~ ~ ~ ~



HEARD:  All we have to do is make it right.


PIX:  I saw the doorpost and the frame of the door with degreaser pouring down the greasy film on the door. 


HEARD:  Entanglement.  Personality.  Say your sorry.  Being in the world but not of it.  Keep a short list. 


1 John 2:15-17 NKJV

Do not love the world or the things in the world . If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world — the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life — is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.


I once heard a public apology from a leader who had fallen into sin and all he did was say he was sorry.  He did not ask for forgiveness, nor did he confess his sin, repent for his sin by changing his choice, nor did he even apologize.  All he did was say he was sorry.  It reminded me of how many parents teach fighting siblings, “Say you’re sorry.”  However if an offense has caused a serious breach, sorry is just not deep enough.



Offering an apology is a way to fix a breach in a relationship between people.  Usually the breach takes place because of an offense that separated them.  So when you apologize to someone, it is not for the purpose of making the breach worse by apologizing in a wrong way.


What not to do:

  1. Do not justify your behavior by casting blame.

  2. Do not point a finger and tell the person what they did wrong.

  3. Your apology is not about them, it is about you.

  4. Do not attempt to apologize with a proud attitude.

  5. Saying you’re sorry is not an apology.

  6. Saying you’re sorry is not repentance.

  7. Saying you apologize is not repentance.

  8. Saying you apologize is not asking for forgiveness.

  9. Do not apologize in order to manipulate for an apology in return.

  10. Do not defend your behavior.

  11. Do not expect their immediate trust, you must earn it.


What to do:

  1. Remain humble and transparent when apologizing.

  2. Take ownership for your part of the offense. 

  3. Explain what you did wrong in your behavior or word.

  4. Explain why it was wrong, according to scripture, moral values and personal integrity. 

  5. Acknowledge how they are feeling.

  6. Justify and validate their feelings that they were wrongly offended by you. 

  7. Give them understanding into your behavior without using it as your excuse. 

  8. Ask the person to forgive you.  Asking for forgiveness means that they will not hold it against you and choose to release you from the offense. 

  9. Respect their feelings whether they say they forgive you or not. 

  10. Repent and tell them you have grown through the experience and do not want to repeat the lesson again.

  11. Offer to pray with them so that you may ask God to forgive you as well.  Often the honesty of prayer melts hearts. 


Heb 12:14-16  NKJV

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.


Rom 12:18-19 NKJV

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.


Luke 7:47  NKJV

Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little." 


Prov 29:23 NKJV

A man's pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor.



Words from the The Quickened Word are excerpts from the journals of Sandy Warner.  To better understand how God speaks, read Sandy’s book, “101+ Ways God Speaks, And How to Hear Him.”  Website:    Email:  







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