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RESTORING THE
SOUL OF MARRIAGES - Parts 1 & 2
{Words of Wisdom to Men About Their Wives}
{Words
of Wisdom to Women About Their Husbands}
PART ONE: {Words of Wisdom to Men About Their Wives}
Hi Loved Ones,
The Holy Spirit is wanting to heal the souls of wounded
people. Today, there are many, many marriages so wounded
that they are just going through the motions like empty
shells. The Lord wants to pour healing into these deeply
wounded places.
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SIDE NOTE TO THE VISION BELOW: In my past I have had
several visions whereby I was being used in intercession
via dance. Some of these dances have actually been up in
the sky where I am swooping and moving to the nuances of
His expressive heart. Each sway and move was perfectly
in tune and in one accord with what He was yearning over
His people. These experiences are often filled with deep
feelings of emotions but they are totally expressed
through body movement.
VISION: In this particular vision I was in a private
ballroom. The Holy Spirit began to play the music of His
heart and just as in the other visions in the sky, I had
great yearnings to respond to Him. I began to dance to
the music, going through all the motions to the rise and
fall and the sweeping of the music. Every movement of my
hands, body and feet were in one accord with Him.
When the dance was complete, I left this private chamber
of yearnings and entered a ballroom where husbands and
wives were dancing to the same expressive music and
being in one accord with each other. They were doing so
in church! I felt so lost and alone looking at all the
couples dancing and then my eye looked up and there was
my husband waiting for me. He was a watchman on the
balcony overlooking the couples and had been courteously
waiting for me to finish my intercession in the private
chamber. As our eyes locked upon each other, I had the
secure feeling that he knew me very, very well and I
felt a great comfort of as he descended the stairs to
welcome me into his arms.
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HUSBANDS, UNDERSTAND YOUR WIVES
1 Peter 3:7 NKJV
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding,
giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and
as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your
prayers may not be hindered.
Gen 3:16 NKJV
Your desire (#8669) shall be for your husband, and he
shall rule over you."
Part of the bondage of the soul within a woman is that
her heart is destined to stretch towards her husband
through a 'yearning, longing and running after' him.
(Hebrew word "desire" #8669) This desire is expressed so
beautifully by the Bride in "Song of Solomon 1:4. Draw
me, we will run after thee:"
When the husband is ignorant of understanding these
yearnings, the wife feels disappointed, looses trust,
feels betrayed, and ultimately rejected and abandoned
because she feels these yearnings are not being
reciprocated or even understood. She begins to fulfill
these yearnings through other sources and this
ultimately forms within her an independent spirit of
rebellion with a cold heart.
So what can a husband do to help satisfy his wife's
yearnings and longings?
Answer: Touch and communication.
The practical thoughts below - are just that -
practical. It is important that a heart of nurturing
love behind these things is communicated. Without a
heart behind such, they stay mechanical at best.
Try to touch her with physical affection several times a
day with no sexually related motives. This means
tangible affection like hugs, kisses, back scratches,
back rubs, foot massages, holding hands, combing her
hair, putting on lotion, washing her back, even washing
her hair - any kind of affectionate, physical, tangible
pampering. When you finally come together for sexual
intimacy, go slow and take time to hold her and caress
her.
Learn to communicate with her on an emotional level. It
is difficult for men to get in touch with their feelings
let alone communicate them. But at least try. Give her
an opportunity to express her own by asking her
questions and really listening to her. She is usually
infinitely filled with more words than you are, so don't
even try to compete, just listen to her tell you the
whole story, - the long way around the barn. Most women
work through the pains and joys of life by talking them
out. The bottom line of her yearning towards her husband
is to have meaningful conversation, about things that
really matter and touch her heart.
Let her works praise her in the gates of your home. (Prov
31) Tell her how much you value her as a person. Think
of all the things she means to you, things she does
which are worthy of note, both in character and deed.
Praise her, and thank her as often as you can. Pray with
her and tell the Lord in front of her how much she means
to you. Let her know how much her friendship means to
you. Build up the Christ like characteristics and Godly
integrity that she displays in your home and community.
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THE GOD SPOT
I have seen many single women have a hard time finding a
mate because they do not find a husband like Jesus. He
is their standard and role model and no man compares.
Some never do marry. This bonding to be married to Jesus
is a deep, deep yearning within a female. It is a normal
and practical part of her makeup to be the bride of
Christ. It is how God created her.
It is important for husbands to know that within their
wives is a God spot that no matter how hard they try,
husbands can not fill. Often a wife will be struggling
over an issue in which she is waiting upon the Lord and
her wrestling is with God, not her mate. For the husband
to understand this, brings relief from expectations.
Then he is able to come along side her and support her
in prayer in the midst of her quest to fill that God
spot. A simple prayer is one of the most meaningful ways
a husband can love his wife, which also helps her to
find God in a deep and meaningful intimacy. Every night
before I go to sleep, my husband washes me with prayer.
He always asks that the Lord speak to me, because that
is my deepest desire. He understands my needs and my
weaknesses, he gives me honor as an equal to him in our
marriage and his prayers are not hindered. His prayers
carry great authority in the kingdom. The ministry of
The Quickened Word is the long term fruit of my
husband's prayers over his beloved wife.
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CONCLUSION
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PRAYER TO PONDER:
Lord it is Your will to heal the wounded souls of
marriages. I ask that You begin to open the eyes of the
husbands to ways they can connect with their wives in
tangible affection and heart to heart communications. I
ask in Jesus' name, that where they have not dwelled
with their wives in understanding, that they be forgiven
and be given a second chance to win the hearts of their
wives back again.
I also ask, Lord, that You grant the wives grace to
forgive, and release their disappointments,
hopelessness, bitterness, rebellion and independent
spirits. Cause their husbands to come into the place
where they dwell with their wives in understanding. I
ask that You will do Your divine surgery and move into
the very hearts and souls of wives and melt them with
Your love and their husband's love. Lord, please bring
the hearts of the wives back once again to their
husbands, that they may be held and cherished and
honored. In Jesus Name I pray..
RESTORING THE SOUL OF MARRIAGES - pt 2
PART TWO:
{Words
of Wisdom to Women About Their Husbands}
WIVES BE
A REFUGE FOR YOUR HUSBAND'S HEART
Prov
31:12 NKJV
Who can
find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will
have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all
the days of her life.
Wives,
your husbands need to be able to trust you with their
hearts. It is hard for them to open up and communicate
in the first place. And when they do, they need to know
they will not be judged, criticized, or opposed. They
also need to trust that what they share will be kept in
confidence and not spread to others. They need a safe
place.
Many
times wounded souls happen because the wives are not
receiving the touch and communication they need from
their husband, so they turn to nurturing their children
instead. Mothers are created for touching and talking to
their children, but a problem emerges when they look to
their children for their own emotional needs. It places
the husband at the bottom of the list, along with his
own strong nurturing needs of his heart and soul. The
children come first, and the husband gets what is left
over, if anything. With that priority out of order, the
husband does not have a safe refuge for his heart. He
remains outside looking in at the thriving family life
going on without him. The basic needs of his soul are
isolated and abandoned.
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WIVES
APPRECIATE YOUR HUSBAND'S LABORS
Eccl
5:18 NKJV
Here is
what I have seen: It is good and fitting for one to eat
and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in
which he toils under the sun all the days of his life
which God gives him; for it is his heritage.
The most
common way that a man shows his love for his wife is
through doing something for her related to the work of
his own hands. Because of his toil to provide for his
family, his soul is often caught up in being productive.
He needs to feel appreciated, valued and praised for his
efforts.
Wives,
discover all the traits in your husband that are
praiseworthy in what it takes to take care of his
family, day after day, year after year. Appreciate him
for these, build him up and believe in him. Comfort him
when he produces less than his aspirations and let him
know how valuable he is as a person outside of what he
produces. Comfort his soul, be a refuge. Build up the
Christ like characteristics and Godly integrity that he
displays in your home and community. Thank the Lord in
front of your husband, for all that your husband means
to you.
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WIVES BE
A SHELTER FOR YOUR HUSBAND'S SEXUAL NEEDS
Gen
1:27-28 NLT
So God
created people in his own image; God patterned them
after himself; male and female he created them. God
blessed them and told them, "Multiply and fill the earth
and subdue it.
Men's
most basic physical drive is to create offspring. God
placed within the man the sexual drive to be the
instigators and the women to be the receivers. It is
important to the husbands that their wives really want
to receive this intimate gift God gave them. This means
expressing heartfelt joy in emotional and physical
response, whereby the wife not only loves and enjoys the
advances of her husband's intentions, but also adores
his spirit and soul through the process. Sexual intimacy
was meant to be more than skin deep. God created sexual
intimacy to be a pleasurable refuge for the two of them
- joined as one; body, soul and spirit.
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WIVES BE
THE JOY OF COMPANIONSHIP FOR YOUR HUSBAND
Gen
2:18-19 NLT
And the
LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a companion who will help him."
Dear
ones, your husbands are lonely and most of them will
never tell you this. Companionship is abiding along side
of one another. Abiding is a very precious experience
that does not need words, but only your supportive
presence along side of your husband. You may not be able
to take vacations together very often. And even though
they are nice, the companionship of abiding is best
expressed through simple daily life. For instance, if he
needs to run to the bank, or go get gas - ride along
with him. You may find your best times are just side by
side. Go to the dentist with him and wait with him in
the waiting room. Meet him for a lunch date. Go with him
to a sport outing. Surprise him and jump in the shower
with him. Run errands with him. Just BE there for him.
He may not want all the problems of the world dumped on
his shoulders in deep emotional talk, but he wants you
and the joy of your being with him.
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CONCLUSION
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PRAYER
TO PONDER:
Lord I
thank You that You are highlighting the healing of our
souls at this time and especially our relationships. As
wives turn to You to reach their husband's hearts, I ask
that Your Words of wisdom be planted deep within. I pray
that You will bring the wives into repentance where they
have not guarded the hearts of their husbands. I pray
that you will change the substitute places where they
have sought to meet their needs for touch and intimate
communication. I ask that these places be brought back
to their husbands as their first priority. I ask that
You will bring Your God ordained balance back into
family life.
I ask
that You will bring healing to the wounded souls in
marriages back to health. I pray that You restore life
committed husbands and wives back to being soul mates,
buddies and deepest intimate lovers. And Lord, I also
ask that as partners yearn over their spouses, that You
will multiply their prayers for all the marriages that
are in such deep pain and isolation. I ask in Jesus Name
with all my heart. Amen.
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