Sandy Warner ~ ~ ~ ~




VISION:  I saw a child who was 4 years old.  I heard a loud thud in the other room and he came running and buried himself in the couch, obviously in pain as he had bumped his head.  I came over to comfort him.  Instead of grabbing him, I reached down gently and touched the top of his head and said, “Oh Jesus love our little boy.  Comfort him, hold him tenderly, hold him gently, hold him securely.”  My voice, words in the prayer and gentle touch comforted him and brought his buried pain to the surface and he began to cry.


HEARD:  Gentle ones.  This is your heart for your children.  Christianity.  Comfort one another beloveds.  Even as I have comforted you.


2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them who are in any trouble, by the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted of God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds by Christ.



I have been pondering about how people give and receive comfort.  Does this differ between males and females?  Do we know how to receive comfort and do we know how to give comfort?  Does extending comfort make us feel awkward?  Do we feel satisfied that something we have given in this area actually connects and makes a difference in those we comfort?  According to the above scripture, we are able to give comfort to the level we ourselves have received comfort.  The Holy Spirit is our Comforter.


John 14:16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever;


Exclusive Love and Comfort

Sometimes when a person suffers loss in a relationship, they develop a clingy possessive grip on relationships following that loss.  If children raised in possessive love, it can cause them to grow up only being able to receive love and comfort and give love in an exclusive way that causes others to feel rejected outside the circle.  This can grow into codependent personalities where the children have no identity outside of the one who absorbs them. 


2 Cor 6:11-13 NLT  Oh, dear Corinthian friends! We have spoken honestly with you, and our hearts are open to you. 12 There is no lack of love on our part, but you have withheld your love from us. 13 I am asking you to respond as if you were my own children. Open your hearts to us!


Refusing all Comfort

The Lord taught me a few years ago that there are some people who, no matter how much comfort they are offered, they make a choice and refuse to be comforted / consoled and they choose to walk in that mantle for their entire lives.  I have come across many of these type of people in ministry, where they carry their losses around like balls and chains and it is very, very sad because when they seemingly beg for help, they are unable to receive it.  (I am reminded of the guy who laid by the pool for all those years and Jesus asked him if he wanted to be healed.)


Genesis 37:34-35 And Jacob tore his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days. 35 And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him.


Comfort from the Wrong Sources

In an opposite way if someone is looking in the wrong way to receive love and comfort, it drives others away when they feel incapable of meeting that person’s need.  Sometimes people can become so overwhelmed they do not know how to respond and are ill equipped to touch them in a way they are asking.  When these times happen, often they are looking to man instead of the Lord.


One time I was just devastated by all the pain a person was in and I was speechless. I prayed and asked the Lord, Why did this person write me all this stuff?  As I began to pray the Lord showed me all the reasons/ motives as to why she would share some little detail and I began to get a clear picture of the levels of abuse she has suffered in her life, along with rejection and fear, desire to overcome and be faithful.  And of course, all this info only made me want to “fix her” and I realized her level of need was so massive, no amount of anything could help but God’s supernatural work in her life, so I just prayed more and then asked Him what am I supposed to say to her? 


I suddenly realized that all she really wanted was to be understood and this would bring her comfort.  So instead of being a Mr Fix-it , if I could somehow help her know I had heard her and understood her issues, that would comfort her. 


(I am reminded right now where scripture tells husbands to dwell with their wives in understanding… often they don’t want to read or know the manual on how to fix the problem, they just want to be understood…. Smiles, Wayne just picked up the manual to our van at the exact moment I typed the word manual!.... I had a wrench icon turn on in the dashboard today, so I guess I need new oil.  Ha!  Good one, Lord, You are seriously very funny in my life!)



Heartfelt expression.
Understanding the pain.
Meeting a need.
Affection received.
Nearness that soothes.

Caring enough to ask.
Opportunity to connect.
Making peace.
Finding answers.
One-ness but not alone-ness.
Reaching out to touch.
Time to listen.

Beloved children, I comfort you in all your troubles so that you can comfort others. When others are troubled, you will be able to give them the same comfort I have given you. I will not leave you comfortless. You are never, never alone. I AM with you always. I will abide with you forever. Comfort one another with these Words. (2 Cor 1:4; John 14)




Words from the The Quickened Word are excerpts from the journals of Sandy Warner. To better understand how God speaks, read Sandy’s book, “101+ Ways God Speaks, And How to Hear Him.” Website: Email: