5/18/14 GIVING AND RECEIVING COMFORT
VISION: I saw a
child who was 4 years old. I heard a loud thud in the other
room and he came running and buried himself in the couch,
obviously in pain as he had bumped his head. I came over to
comfort him. Instead of grabbing him, I reached down gently
and touched the top of his head and said, “Oh Jesus love our
little boy. Comfort him, hold him tenderly, hold him
gently, hold him securely.” My voice, words in the prayer
and gentle touch comforted him and brought his buried pain
to the surface and he began to cry.
Gentle ones. This
is your heart for your children. Christianity. Comfort one
another beloveds. Even as I have comforted you.
Corinthians 1:3-5 Blessed be God, even the Father of our
Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all
comfort; 4 Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we
may be able to comfort them who are in any trouble, by the
comfort with which we ourselves are comforted of God. 5 For
as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation
also abounds by Christ.
THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT COMFORT
I have been
pondering about how people give and receive comfort. Does
this differ between males and females? Do we know how to
receive comfort and do we know how to give comfort? Does
extending comfort make us feel awkward? Do we feel
satisfied that something we have given in this area actually
connects and makes a difference in those we comfort?
According to the above scripture, we are able to give
comfort to the level we ourselves have received comfort.
The Holy Spirit is our Comforter.
John 14:16 And I will pray the Father,
and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide
with you forever;
Love and Comfort
a person suffers loss in a relationship, they develop a
clingy possessive grip on relationships following that
loss. If children raised in possessive love, it can cause
them to grow up only being able to receive love and comfort
and give love in an exclusive way that causes others to feel
rejected outside the circle. This can grow into codependent
personalities where the children have no identity outside of
the one who absorbs them.
6:11-13 NLT Oh, dear Corinthian friends! We have spoken
honestly with you, and our hearts are open to you. 12 There
is no lack of love on our part, but you have withheld your
love from us. 13 I am asking you to respond as if you were
my own children. Open your hearts to us!
Refusing all Comfort
The Lord taught me a few years ago that
there are some people who, no matter how much comfort they
are offered, they make a choice and refuse to be comforted /
consoled and they choose to walk in that mantle for their
entire lives. I have come across many of these type of
people in ministry, where they carry their losses around
like balls and chains and it is very, very sad because when
they seemingly beg for help, they are unable to receive it.
(I am reminded of the guy who laid by the pool for all those
years and Jesus asked him if he wanted to be healed.)
Genesis 37:34-35 And Jacob tore his
clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for
his son many days. 35 And all his sons and all his daughters
rose up to comfort him; but
he refused to be comforted; and he said, I will go
down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father
wept for him.
from the Wrong Sources
In an opposite
way if someone is looking in the wrong way to receive love
and comfort, it drives others away when they feel incapable
of meeting that person’s need. Sometimes people can
become so overwhelmed they do not know how to respond and
are ill equipped to touch them in a way they are asking.
When these times happen, often they are looking to man
instead of the Lord.
One time I was just devastated by all the
pain a person was in and I was speechless. I prayed and
asked the Lord, Why did this person write me all this
stuff? As I began to pray the Lord showed me all the
reasons/ motives as to why she would share some little
detail and I began to get a clear picture of the levels of
abuse she has suffered in her life, along with rejection and
fear, desire to overcome and be faithful. And of course,
all this info only made me want to “fix her” and I realized
her level of need was so massive, no amount of anything
could help but God’s supernatural work in her life, so I
just prayed more and then asked Him what am I supposed to
say to her?
I suddenly realized that all she really
wanted was to be understood and this would bring her
comfort. So instead of being a Mr Fix-it , if I could
somehow help her know I had heard her and understood her
issues, that would comfort her.
(I am reminded right now where scripture
tells husbands to dwell with their wives in understanding…
often they don’t want to read or know the manual on how to
fix the problem, they just want to be understood…. Smiles,
Wayne just picked up the manual to our van at the exact
moment I typed the word manual!.... I had a wrench icon turn
on in the dashboard today, so I guess I need new oil. Ha!
Good one, Lord, You are seriously very funny in my life!)
enough to ask.
but not alone-ness.
out to touch.
Beloved children, I comfort you in all your troubles so that
you can comfort others. When others are troubled, you will
be able to give them the same comfort I have given you. I
will not leave you comfortless. You are never, never alone.
I AM with you always. I will abide with you forever. Comfort
one another with these Words. (2 Cor 1:4; John 14)